9. What is the essence of being human?
- Not understanding the opposite sex.
8. If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
- Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.
7. How do I know I'm not just a brain in a vat, hooked up to a computer simulation of life?
- Look in the mirror. If you see a gray, spongy thing in a glass container, you are.
6. Can our minds exist separately from our bodies?
- If they could, we'd just send our minds to class and sleep in every morning.
5. Is there a God?
- A billion Hindus can't be wrong.
4. What is the nature of Knowledge?
- I'm still trying to figure out the nature of *college*.
3. What is the meaning of life?
- All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.
2. Why get a Philosophy degree?
- It's more respectable than a theater degree, but you still get to drink lots of espresso.
1. So, was Kant on drugs or what?
- Probably.